Spiritual Diagnosis

After my morning prayers, I opened my scriptures hoping to know what God wanted me to focus on this year spiritually.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I have had some humbling experiences seeing my weaknesses and feeling the Lord wanting me to improve.  But, where do I begin?

Thankfully the answer came to me today.  The Book of Mormon is true and truly has the guidance and answers we need for every struggle and situation.  I have read it many times, yet here was a passage I had never considered in this context.


Ammon and a group of 15 other men were commissioned by King Mosiah to leave Zarahemla to see if men (Zeniff and his followers) that had left years and years before were still alive, or what became of them.  Zeniff was a Nephite and he had a strong desire to go back to the land of their inheritance.  He believed that he could work with the Lamanites to get some of their land back and live peacefully.  He is described as an over-zealous man, and although his desire was not unrighteous, he ended up making a treaty with the king of the Lamanites which resulted in them becoming slaves.  The Lamanites had no intentions of kindly giving them land- they tricked him into a treaty and when Ammon arrives, he finds the posterity of Zeniff under great bondage.  King Limhi is the king over this group of people.

When Ammom reveals that he is a descendant of Zarahemla searching for them, King Limhi sees that this is their opportunity to be freed from the Lamanites.  He gathers his people at the temple.

And here is where my study became personal revelation:

Mosiah 7:20- It is our own iniquities that bind us and enslave us to unhappiness.  In other words, we limit ourselves.  God wants to share all He has with us.

How do I open up to what God wants to share with me?  Like Zeniff, we may get over-zealous- even about good things!- that may subject us to bondage.

I took a moment to consider my own over-zealous tendencies.  It did not take long for the spirit to point them out.  And it nailed me.

1. I try to be everything to everyone, including God.
2. I hold others to high and unrealistic standards and expectations.
3. I tend to hyper focus on the "ideal" and feel angry and hurt about reality.  (This includes towards myself as well.)

As a result of this iniquity, the bondage I find myself in (as it corresponds above):

1. Anxiety/guilt/feelings of failure when I fall short of being everything to everyone.
2.  Limit my ability to love and be loved unconditionally.
3.  Cycle of disappointment and unhappiness.

Mosiah 7:23 he asks:

"Is not this grievous to be borne?"- Yes it is!
"Is not this affliction great?" - Yes, I want to be free of it!

So how do I become free?  I know that the right sunday school answer to this is through the Atonement, which is the right answer.  But how?  What do I DO? I know as I continue to search I will continue to learn this, but here is what I've learned so far and will incorporate into my daily life as I embark this journey:

How God frees us from bondage:

Vs 26: don't "slay" his chosen prophets.  In other words, prophets are here to help free us from our spiritual bondage, just as Ammon was physically able save them later.  Heed the prophets voice and you will be led to freedom.

Vs 33-
1. Turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart.  This desire to change can't just be a one or 2 time pleading for help.  This desire must consume me and drive me to seek help hourly, daily until I have overcome.

2. Serve him with all diligence of mind.  In all situations or when anxieties arise I will place my mind on Christ and only be concerned about doing His will.

3. Place your trust in him.  Be patient with myself and others.  don't doubt that freedom is possible and is coming.

Because God is full of grace and unconditional love, He makes us promises and blesses us.  "If ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure deliver you out of bondage."

I can't wait to get started together with the Lord this year and overcome my personal over-zealousness.